Thursday, April 2, 2009 @ 9:36 PM * The Mischiefs of Ah Khoo Tuition Center
Good title? Took some time to come up with it. =P I've been wanting to have something more light-hearted, funnier, something to read just so one can relax, etc in this blog. And well... I just found out that my Add Maths and Physics tuitions are quite interesting and amusing, especially Add Maths class. Maybe you guys won't find it exceptionally funny or anything, or even lame, but I'm gonna put them up here, some of the jokes I've jotted down. It might not do you any good, but it will certainly do, to me in the future when I wanna get emo by reading old stuffs. xDSo, as a short introduction, Ah Khoo [Khoo Mun Jye] is not only my tutor, he is also my cousin sister's boyfriend. Used to be a great student, excelling in both academics and co-curricular activities, etc. Let's not talk about that, shall we? =P I can imagine some people suffering if they continue to read on compliments about him. xD *coughs* The BOND *coughs* Anyways... He's my tuition teacher for both Add Maths and Physics. For Add Maths, he has a total students of 6 in our class, namely myself, Kai, The BOND, Chua, Shin Bee, Ham aka Hanley and Chow aka Jing Nie. I'm gonna talk more about Add Maths classes, so I'm just gonna skip the Physics part.
I only remembered some of the jokes, and well, as I said, I can't confirm the hilarity, so you guys just have to test your luck. =P I will skip some other jokes too, as I know I am unable to express them the same way I heard them. And... Some of them may be edited a little cause I can't remember some parts like who said them, or what exactly did they say, etc. I'll try my best to stick to the original. xD [it's like some sort of copyrights or something...] So... Yeah well... I'll skip the rants.
1. Sore Hands Produce Untidiness
Chua: Teacher ar, your girlfriend hor, her writing is very ugly one. But your writing is nicer.
[ I have to explain a lil' sumthin' sumthin'. Ah Khoo's Gf, in other words, my cousin sister, is Chua's, BOND's, and many others' Accounts tuition teacher. And she is quite famous for her fierceness. =P ]
Ah Khoo: Ooooh... I'll help you pass the message to her lah.
Chua: No lahhh... But her drawing is nicer mah, your one so ugly.
Ah Khoo: *kena shot* Okay, I will think about my mistakes and correct them. *sarcastic matter*
BOND: But, your writing also ugly lah, teacher. *points at the white board*
Ah Khoo: No lah. It's because today I work until my hands very sore mah.
BOND: Ohh... Then you must have sore hands everyday.
2. Basic Trigonometric Identities
Ah Khoo: Okay, so today we're going to start on a new subtopic, called Basic Trigonometric Identities. Now, who knows what this subtopic is about?
Everyone: *with full, and I mean, MAXIMUM confidence* BASIC TRIGONOMETRIC IDENTITIES!
3. Geniuses, Professors, and Just Silly Us
Ah Khoo: You see, we always do maths using this procedure. You know why? Because if we use the other way round, it's not easy you know. In the whole world, 99% of people knows how to use this proper procedure. And only 1% knows how to use the procedure upside down. So, those who knows how to do these procedures upside down are geniuses, they are called professors one you know! But sad thing is, these people, usually kids, will commit suicide because they cannot adapt to the environment.
Everyone: Wahhhhh...
BOND & Chua: But we wanna try! *does the procedures upside down*
Ah Khoo: Okay! I give you guys one question! See how long it takes lah! Look at this? This is the normal procedure we usually do right? Now do the other way round, starting from the answer, and cannot refer har!
Everyone: *do the question with utmost efforts* *...and took quite a long time*
BOND: Then, here must do this loh. There must do that loh...
Me: Wah! Tomorrow BOND's coming out in newspaper! A new professor commit suicide!
[...if you understands what that means... ]
4. Hurry up~!
Everyone: *do the example Ah Khoo gave*
BOND: *done*
After some time...
BOND: Eh, teacher. Hurry up leh. Next example.
Ah Khoo: *glares* Waseh... Very fast hor someone. *stands and walks around* Hurry up lah! Someone complaining liao ar! Hurry up lah! *yells at whoever hasn't finished the example* *walks back to BOND* Happy now?
5. Manly Voice
Someone [forgot who]: *makes a voice that sounded girly*
Ham: Yer... So girly girly one...
That person: Aiyah! *takes his pen or something*
Ham: GIVE IT BACK LAH!
Chow: Wahhh~ So 'man' oooooh~
6. Fat meh? Thin meh?
Everyone: *sketching sin, cos and tan graphs*
BOND: *finished*
Ah Khoo: Here too thin already.
BOND: *widened eyes* *brings up the book* Mine very thin meh? Thin meh? Thin meh?
Ah Khoo: *stares* You're not so thin also lah...
Okay, that's for now. Sorry if all of them didn't turn out well. =P I'll upload a picture or two of the tuition scene later if I can. Tomorrow Sport's Day liao, have to go to bed early. Night~